Single Mom Advice On Answering the Tough Questions

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by Denise on December 15, 2010 · 2 comments

in Hard Questions

A single mom knows that their children can come up with the most astounding and sometimes embarrassing questions they have ever heard. But since they are always honest with their children (or at least, they should be!), they strive to answer those tough questions in the best way they know how. Here are a few questions that single moms have learned to dread:

  • Where’s my Daddy? This question might be the hardest for a single mom to answer, no matter what the circumstances. If you are divorced, how do you explain that to a child without making them worry about their place in your life? If you are single by choice, how can you explain why they don’t have a daddy around like other kids do? If you are a single mom because you have been widowed, then you have an even tougher situation to deal with when answering that question. The best thing to do is be as honest as possible, all the while reassuring your child that you will be there for them, no matter what.
  • Why can’t you stay home with me? This question from your child can be heartbreaking for a single mom. You want to spend as much time as you can with your kids, but financial circumstances often dictate otherwise. Explaining to your child that you have to work hard to make ends meet can be a tough discussion to have, especially when it leads to the previous question about where the other parent is. Again, the best answer is to be honest, or to sit down with your child – if they are old enough – and show them both the calendar and the bank account to help them understand.
  • Who is that man? When you start dating, your kids might have plenty of questions about the man you are seeing, and even more embarrassing, what you are doing with them. They might start to wonder about sex, which can turn into a huge issue – most children see their single mothers as devoted entirely to them, and don’t think about the fact that a single mom is actually a woman with needs. Young children won’t ask those questions as often as tweens or teenagers do. Single moms will have to decide carefully on what should be told and what shouldn’t – but keep in mind that if they are asking questions about sex, they are definitely ready for “the talk.”
  • Why can’t we be like everybody else? This question often pops up after a child has spent time at a friend’s house, where there is an “intact” family of mother, father, and kids. Everything might look idyllic, and your child might wonder why they have a life different from that of their peers. Remind your child that families come in all shapes and sizes, and that just because you are a bit different from the family down the street does not mean you are any less of one. This will be something your kids will need to hear from an early age through adulthood, so start reinforcing the idea right now!

About Denise

As a mom to three girls Denise knows the difficulties of being a single parent. Denise has been working to help single moms across the country since 2007. In her free time Denise enjoys camping, riding four wheelers and just spending time with her family.


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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Angie December 18, 2010 at 9:38 am

To go along with the last question, if your child is young enough, you can often find books on this at the library to go along with the statement that all families come in different sizes. I have found that this does help younger children relate more if they can see other families out there are like them in some way.

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Savannah February 17, 2011 at 10:49 am

Kids tv shows and books that represent diverse families are a great way to give kids role models and to see that they aren’t alone. It often makes them feel more accepted, and can be helpful in making their confidence levels about themselves better.

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