Questions About Sex: How to Talk to Your Kids

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by Nicole on March 8, 2011 · 2 comments

in Hard Questions

Kids are naturally curious, and sexual behavior is something they are going to want to know about. As their mom, you want them to come to you with their questions, not their friends. Learning how to answer the questions about sex that your kids might bring up, on an age appropriate level, will help you prepare for the future and build trust with your kids.

If your children are under the age of 6, you need to be honest, but abstract. They don’t need all of the details. Let them know that a man and a woman work together to make a baby, but that is about all they need to know. Since you are a single mom, there may be a few more questions about this since dad is not in the home, but answer them carefully.

The truth about the act of sex can wait until puberty, but you don’t want to wait too long. Children are becoming interested in sexual acts much younger than you might think, and you need to be honest with them before they begin experimenting. Tell them the mechanics of it, and also the dangers. Don’t scare them, but help them understand when these behaviors are appropriate, and when they are not.

It is of the utmost importance to help your children understand that sexual acts happen within a context, and that context is your value system. Whether you intend for them to wait until marriage or until they are in a stable, mutually supportive relationship, make this boundary clear.

Finally, when you have these discussions, start by asking them questions. Find out what they know or think, and then fill in with the appropriate information. Remember, your children may not always come to you with questions about sex, so you need to bring it up when you think it is important for them to know.

About Nicole

Nicole Harms is a freelance writer and a busy mom to two preschool daughters. She received a bachelor’s degree in education from Maranatha Baptist Bible College, but after four years in the classroom she turned in the chalk for the virtual pen. When not researching or writing she is busy chasing her two daughters around or traveling.


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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Kaye March 9, 2011 at 12:13 am

As s parent our role is to get our children be well educated in all sorts of matter, specially in the topic of sex. Though it’s very serious and conservative issue, we still have to be the one to feed them with the right information, specifically when they reach puberty. We know that kids are naturally curious and we don’t want them to get the wrong or inaccurate information about sex in other people.

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Lestie March 9, 2011 at 10:21 pm

Hello. I am just curious about what my 16 year old daughter is acting now. She always spent her time with her friends outside and she always came home late at night. I try to talk to her but she keeps on ignoring me. What will I do? I’m trying to keep in touch with her but it is still not enough. I guess she has having a problem that I do not know and I badly want to know it.

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