Questions About Dad

by Nicole on April 1, 2011 · 4 comments

in Hard Questions

When kids are raised in a single parent home, they often end up with questions about where the other parent is or why their family unit doesn’t look like the family units of their peers. In today’s society when single parent families are becoming more and more common, kids may be more accepting of their situation, but they will likely have questions form time to time. When your kids have questions about dad, here are some strategies to use to answer them.

The first strategy is to plan your answer before the question is asked. If your child is too young to ask these questions, then decide how you will answer when they grow a bit. If they are old enough, then plan your answer now. If you have your answer planned, you will be more comfortable delivering it. Remember, your kids will pick up on your anxiety if you feel anxious.

Sometimes there will be difficult circumstances surrounding your separation. You may want to avoid some of the difficult details about your separation, because you do not want to be guilty of painting your ex in a bad light. No matter what, that individual will be your child’s father for the rest of his or her life, so try to maintain respect if you can. If it is possible and safe, try to maintain contact between the child and the father. Of course, this is not advisable in abusive situations or situations where the dad is not known.

If your child remembers their dad, make sure they understand clearly that nothing they did caused dad to leave or you to separate. Make sure they understand that your separation occurred because of adult issues, not anything they did. Assure them that no matter what happens and changes in your family, you will love them forever and the two of you will be just fine. Often, these questions about dad are simply a call for reassurance that things are OK.

About Nicole

Nicole Harms is a freelance writer and a busy mom to two preschool daughters. She received a bachelor’s degree in education from Maranatha Baptist Bible College, but after four years in the classroom she turned in the chalk for the virtual pen. When not researching or writing she is busy chasing her two daughters around or traveling.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Angie April 1, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Another thing you should not do is force your opinion of their dad on to them. It is not fair that you put him down or make him out to be a loser. Just because it did not work out with you 2 does not mean that one day they will not want to meet him.


Savannah April 5, 2011 at 8:38 am

You’re absolutely right – you don’t want to look like the bad person in the future either for putting him down!


Marie April 7, 2011 at 5:25 am

For me, whatever reason why you are separated, the child has the right to know or meet their father. Give them chance to be comfortable with each other, so the kid will feel the love or care of a father.


Savannah April 7, 2011 at 8:43 am

If that’s a possible scenario it definitely sounds like the best possible one … however, I can think of some very good reasons to not want a father in your child’s life, in which case you should explain those as soon as they’re old enough.


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