Build Self Assurance Through Memories

Bookmark and Share

by Patrice on March 14, 2011 · 2 comments

in (5-9 years)

As your child makes his way out into the world, attending school classes and visiting the homes of friends, it is important that he builds his feeling of belonging. Deportment and self assurance acquired during these early years needs to be encouraged so that as he emerges from this slow and steady time of his life he is confident when trying new experiences and meeting new challenges.

It is also important that the child know how important he is within his own family. These are the people who know him best. These are also the people who have seen him at his worst. There may be days in life when he feels like mom only remembers the times in his life when things weren’t going well. He needs reassurance from you that you pay attention to the good things that he does and that you remember them.

As the single mom watches her maturing child struggle with the consequences of bad behavior and wondering at the impressions he may have left behind in school or other places when he wasn’t always his best, it is important that she take the opportunity to show him how successful she thinks he is.

A child between five and nine doesn’t have a huge store of memories. Make the most of the limited life experiences by asking questions. What was the favorite movie you saw as a family? Talk about the trip to and from the cinema. Did you go for ice cream afterward? Ask questions to see if a memory about the day can be brought up that made the experience special.

What was the best present ever received? Why? What was the best thing that ever happened using or playing with the present? Give praise when possible.

Don’t turn your conversation into an interrogation. Talk about your own memories when they can be worked into your little talks. If similarities can be made, point them out to the child. Kids admire their parents and knowing that they share comparable memories and skills make them feel even more a valued part of the family.

Even an event that the child perceived as a failure at the time can be turned into a pleasant memory and boosts the child’s confidence. Time can soften even bad memories, and if mom can pull out a lesson learned from the experience and let the child discover that it did, indeed help him become skilled with a bit of practice, the bad memory can be turned into a successful accomplishment to remembered and instill poise.


About Patrice

Patrice Campbell is a freelance writer working from the Denver area. Campbell started her writing career in the 1980’s, working for several Wisconsin local papers as a news, human interest and features writer, as well as a photographer.

If you enjoyed reading this post you can discuss it on our Visit our Forums
or leave a comment below.

More Single Moms Resources

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Angie March 14, 2011 at 4:47 pm

I must say that I remember quite a bit from my childhood. I remember many firsts and some birthday parties I had as a young child. I guess I just have a good memory if most people ages 5 to 9 can not remember a lot.


Allison March 16, 2011 at 12:35 am

One of the big influence in a kids development and maturity is to have the best and and worst life experience that they learn. And as their parent we should be part of those memories so our kids will be confident to face all the trials that they will meet, this can also be their guide as they go along the life.


Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post:

Join The Single Mom Community